The Power of Saying 'No': Insights from 'When the Body Says No' by Gabor Maté

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught in a cycle of constant busyness—juggling endless commitments, and prioritizing others’ needs over our own. We fear the consequences of saying ‘no,’ worrying about disappointing others or losing their approval. But what if saying ‘no’ isn’t just about social dynamics? What if it’s also crucial to our physical health?

In his book When the Body Says No, renowned physician and author Gabor Maté uncovers the profound connection between emotional stress and physical illness. Maté explains that our inability to say ‘no’ can take a serious toll on our immune system, increasing our susceptibility to illness.

Many of us struggle with people-pleasing tendencies, always putting others first, even at the expense of our own well-being. Maté argues that this behaviour doesn’t just damage our sense of self-worth—it can actually weaken our body’s defences against stress-related diseases.

He writes, “In important areas of their lives, almost none of my patients with serious disease had ever learned to say no.” This powerful observation highlights how crucial boundary-setting is for our overall health. When we consistently ignore our own needs in favour of others, we invite chronic stress, which can manifest physically in the form of inflammation, autoimmune issues, and other health problems.

Saying ‘no’ is not selfish—it’s a necessary act of self-preservation. By setting boundaries and honouring our limits, we take an essential step towards maintaining our physical and emotional well-being. It’s time to embrace the power of ‘no’ as a tool for a healthier, more balanced life.

So, how can we cultivate the courage to say 'no' without guilt or fear of repercussions? It starts with recognizing our own worth and valuing our health above external validation. It means learning to listen to our bodies and honouring the signals they send us when we're overwhelmed or overextended. And most importantly, it involves embracing the power of self-compassion and realizing that it's okay to prioritize our own needs and happiness.

When the Body Says No offers a profound reminder of the importance of setting boundaries and saying 'no' when necessary. By reclaiming our right to prioritize self-care and assert our own needs, we can unlock the key to a healthier, more fulfilling life—one grounded in authenticity, balance, and inner peace.

If something in this post resonated with you and you're ready to explore therapy, I offer online psychotherapy across Ontario for anxiety, trauma, and emotional well-being. Get in touch to start the conversation—I'd be glad to connect.

Michele Wolf, RP, Collingwood Psychotherapy Aware Within